Creating a Positive Attitude
By Geraldine Humphrey, Ph.D., P.C.C.

A bad attitude cannot directly cause illness or misfortune, but it does affect the way we handle difficult events in our lives.

Attitude and behaviors are often established throughout childhood and adolescence. They are both inherited as personality and temperament as well as learned from those who raise us. Thus, many are almost "programmed" by the time we have to face our first difficulties.

We get stuck in our emotions when we encounter difficulties or unfairness and, as a result, become victimized.  It is impossible to enjoy life as a victim. Our energy is consumed by feelings of resentment over not getting what we feel we deserve. We refuse to let go of resentments or see solutions that would make life better and continue to approach every event as a victim.

It is important to remember that difficult events often render us out of control of our own lives. Instead of taking misfortune personally, externalize your emotions. If you bottle up everything inside, emotions take on a life of their own in a pile of unfinished business that creates the foundation for negative attitudes. Remember that life is not fair, but no one is singling you out to be the victim.

Loss of control, both real and perceived, can serve as a primary source of stress and depression. When this happens, most of us spend too much time and energy trying to control things outside of our control.

Identify and externalize your emotions by talking to a friend or writing in a journal. You may even direct your conversation toward a personified version of your problem. Regain a sense of personal control by naming your stressors and identifying what is important and within your control.

Approach coping from both emotional and problem-solving views. Emotion-focused strategies include identifying emotions, acknowledging pain, finding healthy outlets, and working through ill feelings. Problem-focused strategies involve analyzing stressful situations and regaining control over them through change, delegation, or other solutions.

Be aware of negative people and don't hang around them. These people drain your energy, and their negativity is contagious. Instead, hang around positive people. These people tend to be healthier and promote psychological resiliency that helps you bounce back when you are down. People with positive attitudes also make you feel good about yourself, improving your confidence and self-esteem. See if you can adopt their attitude; it is said that people with positive attitudes are usually better at handling stress, are able to calm themselves down in a healthy way, and are sick less often.

Dr. Gerri Humphrey is a counselor at North Canton Medical Foundation. She takes special interest in adult mental health issues, marriage and family, loss and grief, and illness therapy. To learn more or schedule an appointment, please call 330-433-1354.